so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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