drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
