Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
