so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize