p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
