it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
