Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
