To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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