Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
