I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
