i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
