I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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