ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
