That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
