he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
