Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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