He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
