The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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