i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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