Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
