I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
