She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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