I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
