What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize