Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
