Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize