so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
this hospital has no fireball
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
