I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
