Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
