Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
