He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize