"it" just moved
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
