i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i think i just lost a toe
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
