Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
