that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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