My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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