So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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