You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
