Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
