I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I want her autograph on my taint
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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