Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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