is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
