Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
