i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
