"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
