Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
