We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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