Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
