Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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