I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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