I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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