If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
