is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
