Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
