ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
