He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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