first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
