So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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