no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
